Damn it,patches!
by Alone in the blight
Summary: Good ol' Patches in the dark soul two! what else can be said?


**A/N: ey, welcome to yet another spur-of-the-moment Oneshot! Merry soul-mass to you all and enjoy!**

** . . .**

Merriza finally was able to catch her breath after the lengthy pursuit she had been involved at. That Dunewalker invader from the Far East sulking in the gloomy bushes of the huntsman copse was to be the end of her. Thankfully, she was able to run for it as well as hiding among a pile of rotten corpses despite the fact she wore a brightly contrasted maiden outfit which failed to mangle with the darker colours around her. Must be luck or something…

Her silent prayer was met by the sound of using a black separation crystal, a sound she longed for. She would normally face such dangers by summoning any faithful paladin from another world but her ring was broken a few days ago. She sighed in frustration and sprang out of the rotten pile to go to outside which was as gloomy and dark as inside. Foul stenches of the dead and the living plagued this god forsaken place. Yet, she must continue… she must fulfill her pilgrimage.

Her progress was slow but safe to say at least. She did her best not to engage with the locale of such blightful place. However, she stopped by this peculiar message:

_Amazing merchant ahead._

Normally, Merriza didn't fall for these foul, untrue messages but the message was written again and again whenever she advanced. It won't hurt to check on that amazing merchant, no?

She took a lonely path away from the murky woods which was a series of dangerous edges with some deadly falls. She could actually see some corpses down there. Nevertheless, she swallowed her doubt and moved forward. The crudely written sign 'Trusty_ patches' trove of treasures.' _welcomed her. Merriza entered the small cave only to find a bald young man with a crooked nose and LOTS of trinkets and oddities. He arched a welcoming smile "Welcome, welcome lass to Trusty patches' trove of treasures! Everything for sale; coins, trinkets, souls… I will trade with anything. That is the secret of resourceful men like me! Hehe."

"I might need an empty flask of Estus, mine is starting to lea…" she stopped in midsentence "I…is that the ivory talisman?! Of the maiden in white?!" her excitement over the talismans made patches quite skeptical. "Who? Are you cleric or something?"

"Yes! She was the purest maiden of them all. We have whole verses about her ventures in ancient forgotten lands where she sought to learn the hidden arts of kindling. Her failure inspired other churches to continue this holy mission including myself!" patches stood there for a second ,frozen, his eyes started to twitch and he started to grit his teeth but suddenly he masked the tempest of confliction by a simple smile "I haven't met one of your kin for _**ages**_! Well, it happens I have this very special offer only for clerics… I totally forgot its existence but hey, I guess you are a very lucky person, follow me."

Merriza followed the bald merchant as he ventured deep into the cave which wasn't small at any rate. The more they progressed, the narrower the pathway became "A-are we there yet?"

"Patience, my dear, patience." Said patches as he went further onwards. Alas the dyad reached a cliff in the midst of the dark large cave. " I can't see anyth-" Merriza didn't expect the kick from aback which threw her of the edge onto this pool of thick ,foul, substance. He started to laugh like a crazed hyena "this is what I used to do ,my friend, before a certain Bruv of mine straightened me to the right path! But never in life have tolerated with clerics and I Won't most certainly now! HEHEHEHHH!" he left her to her pathetic no-good-for-anything prayers and returned to the enterance. In front of him was a black phantom with two curved swords.

"_**Aye siwmae, have you seen a filthy cleric around here? Her be-damned paladin killed my brother and so I seek her blood. Her track ends here…"**_

"O have i?! tell you what take these…" he handled him a hefty mass of souls and a rusted iron ring "and kill her _**verrry **_slowly… that bitch is trapped up ahead , have fun, mate!"

Her moans of agony were but mere soothing harmony in his ears.

_**The end**_


End file.
